Today was my first day all by myself. Pretty crazy, right? For a while I was really emotional and wandered around like a lost puppy, unsure of what to do. I always thought that I would know exactly what to do when I got out on my own, as if it would just naturally occur to me what to do and when. But alas, the knowledge has not stricken me yet and I don't believe it will anytime soon. You know what, though? I know more than I thought I did. I survived just fine for the first day at least.
I've wanted to move out on my own since the 6th grade, never satisfied with what was right in front of me. I've wanted to be independent and be able to rely on myself. Not because I had a bad home life, I defy someone to say they had a better childhood, but because I wanted to prove myself to the world "I'm ready to do my part and add something to this place." We grow up thinking that once we're on our own, we're completely independent, cut all ties to all guardians and caregivers. The way I see it, that's not it at all. Independence itself is learning to take your place among those guardians and caregivers. Dependence is not being ruled over or told what to do, it's a learning experience. Independence is the work experience, where you can put all the knowledge and tricks you learned with your parents and actually put them into use. Independence is not leaving an old life behind, but rather starting your next level upon the foundation you've been building for so long.
So many children and teens today rely so much on their parents for both academic and normal life experience. They don't get the feeling of discouragement after doing poorly on a test they didn't study for or the piece of humble pie served from being beat in a championship game by a team that was better. There are no longer winners and losers, just equal. "Everyone's a winner," is probably one of the biggest lies kids hear today. Getting out on my own I've already noticed that life is not fair, everyone is NOT a winner, and X never ever marks the spot. Being on your own you have to deal with it. I'm sure there are many different ways to "deal with it" and I have no room to talk as I have only been out alone for a day, however I know that if not for the experiences of loss, failure, and catastrophe I would not be the person I am. Being independent is all about figuring out your place. How to do you find where you belong if you don't know where you've been?
That all being said, I'll wrap it up with this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson.
“It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinions; it is easy in solitude to live after your own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude”
I believe we were all sent here by our Heavenly Father to learn and grow not just from ourselves but from others as well. Independence is not throwing away everything you've known for emotional solitude, it's becoming a part of a whole, a step in someone's ladder, a well cultured and learned person.
Thanks and watch for the next adventure!
MEG
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